Ruined
by xoxoSoftballTwihard28xoxo
Summary: What were to happen if Edward never came back?  It's 90 years later and there is a whole lot of drama going on.  Will fate bring back these two lovebirds or will they just be mistakes in each others life?
1. Chapter 1

AN: Hey! So I had this story that was stuck in my head and I just had to write about it so tell me what you think by clicking the review button!

I also want to acknowledge my four of my friends Abi, Carly, Devan, and Rachel thank you gals for reading my story and in return you are in this one. Also anyone who wants a part in any one of my stories either now or in the future just tell me and I will do my best to put you in.

Now onto the story

I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. Breaking Dawn buying anyone?

Ruined

Chapter 1 Life without you

Bella's POV

My name is Isabella Swan. I am not human, at least not anymore. For 90 years I have lived in the shadows with a kid. My kid to be exact. She isn't a human either.

We are both vampires the only difference is she is only half of a vampire. Renesmee is the best child that anyone can ever dream of. Her father, whose name even I can't even speak, had left before she was even born. I can remember it like it was just yesterday…

(Quick AN I know this isn't exactly how the book or movie is and it's not very descriptive so bear with me)

_"We are leaving." My only love said._

_ "Ok well I'll have to come up with an excuse to tell Char— wait when you say we…" I trailed off afraid of what was coming next._

_ "I mean my family and myself."_

_ "Ok I'll come with you"_

_ "Bella I don't want you to come with me. So I guess this is goodbye then." He started to walk away and I knew I only had one shot at saying this._

_ "Edward wait there is something I need to tell—"_

_ "Goodbye Bella."_

_ Time begins to pass and a few more comments are shared between the two of us and the next thing you know he is gone._

I should have told him. I have no idea why I didn't. Who knows maybe if I told him I was having his kid he would've stayed. Maybe he would have been the gentleman he was raised to be back in the 19th century.

But guess what? Life doesn't go your way most of the time. So instead of me telling him, I laid on the ground balled up then cried my eyes out. I remember waking up in a weird room that I wasn't familiar with.

I looked down at myself and saw that somehow throughout my sleep I had gotten larger. It now looked like I was around 2 months pregnant. I'll admit I was scared for two reasons: one, my baby was growing really quick and I didn't know what to do, and two, I have no idea where I am or who brought me here.

Less than a minute later my questions were answered. 4 girls walked out and I knew they were vampires from their gold eyes. They told me their names were Carly, Devan, Abi, and Rachel.

They helped me throughout my entire pregnancy. Also after I had Renesmee, they helped me through my newborn years. This being after they turned me into a vampire. I learned the Cullen way of life as far as hunting goes. To be honest I've never killed a human.

The four girls and I became the bestest of friends and always stuck together. It was the closest thing Renesmee could call family.

Back to the reality though. Within my 90 years as a vampire, I have been all around the world. My travels have brought me back to Forks, Washington. This being my home town, or the place I met the person who I considered the only one to be able to have me fall in love with them.

"Mom can we go hunting now?" My daughter Renesmee said.

"We will go now. I have a perfect place for us to go." We took off running into one of my favorite places. This place being the meadow. The only place I go to where I can think of him clearly.

In less than 10 minutes we had arrived. We started to hunt whatever we could find. We were almost done so we sat in the meadow. While sitting there I heard a branch snap. I shot up and that's when I saw…

Sorry for the cliff hanger. Ok I don't want to sound demanding or anything but I would like 5 reviews before I post the second chapter. If I get more than five that just boosts my confidence and tells me you peeps want more. So you know what to do hit that review button. I will make sure I acknowledge you in the next chapter. Thanks,

XoxoSoftballTwihard28xoxo


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys! Sorry it has been so long. I have been sick and school is just getting crazier. Oh and btw in the last chapter I meant 20th century not 19th. I was typing to fast to catch my mistake. Hopefully soon you will see an update for All Twisted Up. I will try to keep this short so we can get on with the story…..

Skyride: Thank you so much and that is great to know that you have decided to take interest in my story.

MollieWTF: Here is the next chapter and thanks!

Twilightluver234: Thanks and luv the enthusiasm hahaha that reminded me of Alice.

Pheonixlovestory: Thank you I always appreciate reviews.

DracoDreams-2: I totally will and I can't wait to write about what will happen

Mymusethynameistwilight: Thank you for being a supportive friend and to tell me to get off my butt and post another chapter. (Btw all of you should read her stories)

Edward Cullen: In my story Bella did try to tell but it so happens that you left before she could which is why she keeps saying that she should have told you. Also not trying to sound mean but for future reference it is fyi. Thank you for your constructive criticism I really do appreciate that.

Ok so maybe not so short. Anyways I don't own Twilight or any of the characters, just my ideas!

Previously

_While sitting there I heard a branch snap. I shot up and that's when I saw…_

Him. I couldn't believe it. After all this time he shows. Well, maybe it would be me showing my face because I just got here and this is _his_ meadow, but that's beside the point.

"Mom, who is that?" My daughter always being the curious one. She looks a lot like her father with the same skin tone, even though mine is like that now, and hair color. She sometimes even acts like him.

"Ness not now. Why don't you head home; I will catch up with you in a few minutes." Here comes the conversation that half of me is dreading and half of me is excited to finally see him again. This is wrong I should hate him, tell him to go away and never return. I mean he left for 90 years because he didn't love me. Whoa I'm going way over my head. He probably is just hunting not coming to talk to me. I got up to move away because it was his meadow after all. I started moving and somehow he ended up right in front of me.

"Sorry I will be getting out of your way." I said.

"Bella? Is that you?" Is that me? Does that look in his eyes show love and despair for something? I thought he left because he didn't love me. I must stay strong. I can't let him see my weakness. If he is here to get me back then he has to work. Who knows, maybe I won't even let him come back I mean he left for 90 years and never came back.

"Excuse me I didn't mean to invade your personal space or area so I will be leaving now." I turned to leave and run out so he didn't see me falter.

I ran and didn't stop until I reached our house. I opened the door, swinging it to the point where I almost broke the door.

"Bella! Is everything ok? I mean do you want to-." I hate being mean to Rachel but, I just had no interest to talk to her about anything.

"I really don't want to talk about it Richie," Richie being the nickname I have for her. I went into my room and slammed the door shut. We decided that while we stayed in Forks, we were going to stay at a place I considered home. It was Charlie's (my dad) house. I am staying in my room and absolutely nothing has changed. The only thing that was different was everything looked older and had dust on it.

I was lying on my bed dry sobbing. The same question goes through my head constantly, why didn't I tell him? Would things have been different if I had told him? Lastly, why are they back in Forks and did I see love and longing in his eyes?

He probably has found his mate. They probably love each other a lot more than we ever did. My thoughts were interrupted when my door was opened.

It was Carly. She walked over to the bed and sat down next to me. She always stuck with me and she was my shoulder to dry sob on.

"Did you see him with someone else?" Carly is like Jasper, she senses people's emotions. She always knows and always helps out when I am feeling down.

"No but he probably is…" I just couldn't keep my hopes up. He left me and probably found his mate. 90 years and nothing much has changed with me.

"How about you and I go out and finish hunting? We can even have all the rest of the girls come with us just in case."

"I guess we should head out then."

Working on the next one. In the next chapter it will be in Edward's pov and it will be 89 years before. But to make me post it faster I would love to have at least 10 reviews because I know you can do it. Also check out my poll for another story idea. I am not quitting either of my other stories though! Thanks so much.

XOXOSoftballTwihard28XOXO


	3. Chapter 3

AN: PLEASE READ! People come on and review please… It doesn't take that long. I understand that my chapters aren't really long and I don't update often but the more reviews I get the longer the chapters and the more often I update. This will be starting now because I don't want to abandon either story. Anyways for the people that reviewed….

DracoDreams-2: It will definitely be exciting!

Mrs. Michaela Cullen: Here I am updating Yeah!

Mymusethynameistwilight: It's coming soon so just hold on… Not this chapter though :(

Bookluver07: Yeah! Now you don't have to wait anymore yah!

Disclaimer: Me: Yeah! As an Easter present I get to own Twilight.

Stephenie Meyer: No way girl! I will never let you have my idea but you can keep yours

Me: Fine… I don't own Twilight or any of its characters Stephenie Meyer does. I do own my ideas though…

On with the story this is 89 years before the last chapter.

Chapter 3

Edward's POV (89 years before)

One year. That's how long it has been since I have seen her. She is all I can think about. Her hair, her eyes, her face, and the way she always smelt never goes away from my mind. Each day I sit curled up wondering what it would be like if I never left. I can't think of it for long though or I start taking it further and try to go back.

Go back. Those words are like a broken record in my mind. How much I would love to just see her. If she has moved on, like I intended her to then I will leave. If not I don't know what I could do. I promised to her through my mind that if I stayed away from her she will be protected from the mythological world that is mine. She deserves to be happy and safe with someone who can grow old with her and watch as their children have children.

That is something I will never be able to do with her. No matter what it will never happen and it saddens me at this. I can't help but to think that maybe, just maybe she only wants to be with me no matter what the cost. Even though this may not be true, I still love the thought.

I decided that I can't wait a second longer in trying to see her. I gather all my things up, which is hardly anything due to the fact of me tracking Victoria. Even the thought of her name brings a growl up in my throat. After this I got a plane ticket straight to Seattle.

I leave in 2 hours. The anticipation of seeing the only girl that was able to reach my dead heart comes to me.

As soon as I got on the plane, the only thought that coursed through my head was seeing Bella. My only fear is that she has found somebody. What are you thinking Edward! That's what you wanted her to do in the first place. Don't you remember anything on why you left in the first place? My mind tells me.

The plane ride was long, too long for my liking. It was the fastest way because running would have just taken that much longer. I arrive in Seattle and begin running faster than I ever had before.

I finally reach Bella's home. Here goes nothing, I thought. I climb up her window and notice an empty room. The bed isn't made and it looks nobody has even been in that room for a long time.

Where did Bella go? Was she in Florida with her mom and Phil? Was I the reason for her moving? My questions are answered when I hear a mind from downstairs.

_They tell me to forget. Like that's ever going to happen. Why did that boy ever have to come into her life? All it did was ruin her. Now we all have to face the consequences while the boy has probably found another girl to ruin. My child never did anything wrong. Why did this happen to me? No, not just me, us._

What did Charlie mean when he said that? Did I truly destroy Bella to the point where she is in a cationic state? Or worse, did she kill herself? Edward, why do you even think like that? Besides if she did by chance kill herself it would be your entire fault not her.

I needed to know if it was true or not. I left the Swan residence, which holds many memories of my angel and myself together. I began to head to the Fork's cemetery. I normal don't talk to you God but if you are listening please have her not be dead and just in Florida safe from my world.

I looked around for her name. Nothing yet. I still had one more row and part of me was scared while the other was rejoicing of the fact that she probably is ok. Charlie must've only been sad about her leaving right?

Wrong. I came across one of the last grave and it read,

Isabella Marie Swan

Born: September 13, 1987

Died: October 26, 2005

The best daughter anyone could have.

A little over a month and she died. I sank down by her grave. If vampires could ever have tears, they would be non-stop coming down from my eyes. I left and she died. I cannot live without her. I have to find a way to die, maybe the Volturi.

No! Listen to me Edward you will be ruining this family even more if you kill yourself. Think about Esme and Carlisle. Do you really want them to have to grief about losing their first son?" Alice said. I couldn't do that to my family. I hadn't even realized how much pain I have caused everyone. To make things worse the pain just intensifies more greatly with every second that passes by.

My angel Bella, Oh how I would do anything to see you smile or laugh or even hear your voice one more time. I know for a fact that you have took your place where you belong and where you can really shine as the angel you are. Please forgive me after all the pain I have caused you.

I know that I will never be forgiven and that I will never see her again because where she is at is a place I will never end up being in.

"How'd she die?" Emmett asked.

"I'm not sure but from what Charlie was thinking; it seemed like a suicidal attempt that worked." I replied with only sadness in my mind.

"I truly am sorry Edward but, I just can't be here. This is just too much for me." Jasper said.

We had very small talk because I was definitely not in a talking mood. She can't be dead is all that coursed through my mind. I needed to know how she died and who did this to her, for they would surely pay.

We went to the Swan residence and without Charlie noticing, we snuck up to her room. Before we went in, I couldn't help but imagine that as soon as we would walk in we would see Bella doing homework or sleeping. I opened the door and it was empty. So what I had believed was all I nightmare when I was at the cemetery was true.

I searched her room for something, anything to tell me who did this to her. We were about to leave when I saw something like a diary or journal.

"Look at this." I said.

I opened it up and the read the first page,

"Him. That's all I can think about. He left me. He told me he loved me then leaves out in the forest by telling me that everything was basically a lie. No, not even basically it was true. He told me that I would forget, this will never happen. But how can I forget when I didn't tell him about what happened. He was the best thing that ever happened to me and now…" I couldn't read that page anymore it causes me too much pain.

"I can read the last page Edward, maybe it will tell us who did this to her." Alice said. Besides myself, it was only Emmett and Alice here. Rosalie probably didn't even care about what was going on.

Alice began, "It has gotten a little better, I guess. He still is in my constant thoughts all the time. I just haven't been getting as good as I want to be. The only way that would ever happen is if I can wake up from this horrid nightmare. Who knows, maybe someday I will. I can see it, waking up with tear stains on my eyes but having my true love be there to wipe away all the tears and tell me everything would be ok. I feel like he would tell me how much he loves me and ask if there is any way to make it go away. We would kiss after that and it would be sweet. After that he would tell me to go back to sleep and to dream sweet dreams while humming my lullaby. But, no matter how many times I pinch myself, I don't wake up. Therefore I know it isn't a nightmare it is reality even though most time reality is a huge nightmare. That is why I can't deal with this anymore. Not even Jake can heal me. I need to go and never come back. That's what led me to this decision. No one will be able to find me because I truly have no reason to be living and breathing on this planet. According to Jessica I am just wasting precious oxygen that other people will need. Goodbye…" (AN: btw Bella wrote this up just in case anybody would find this. She really isn't dead but most of the thoughts are true except for the dying part. Hope that clears any confusion)

She killed herself, and it's my entire fault. How can I live when _I did this _to her?

"Edward bro, I am so sorry for what has happened. If I can—"

I cut Emmett off and said "Emmett there is nothing you can do. This is my entire fault that she is dead. I can't live without her though. Even if I don't end up in the same place as her it will be worth the shot."

"Edward! I will not let you kill yourself. I already told you that it would ruin this family. Think about Bella she would want you to stay alive for her. Now let's go say our goodbyes to Bella and go back to Alaska and this time Edward you are coming with us." Alice said.

She was right though this is probably what Bella would have wanted. I just have to suck it up and hope that one day we could be reunited. (AN: Oh Edward you have no idea how right you are.)

**That's it hoped you enjoyed another chapter will come soon and it will be Edward seeing Bella. Also next chapter for All Twisted Up will be coming soon. It takes a long time to write word for word in her book and I can't do it in class like this story. Oh also my friend Mymusethynameistwilight did this guess my name thing so I will do that to. We will see who gets it right but Mymusethynameistwilight YOU CANT SAY ANYTHING OR GUESS CAUSE YOU KNOW. K Thanks. Until next time BYEZ!**


	4. IMPORTANT AUTHOR NOTE

AN: SORRY FOR THIS BUT IT IS IMPORTANT SO READ! XoxoSoftballTwihard28xoxo here. Just wanted to let all of you know that Mymusethynameistwilight and I are starting a new fan fiction account that we are doing together. We are super excited that we are getting to write together and we are hoping you are too. Also this doesn't mean that we are abandoning our original accounts. Our account will be named xoxoStupidShinyBatOwnersxoxo . At least one story will be posted in the near future. Thanks for sticking with us.

XoxoSoftballTwihard28xoxo and Mymusethynameistwilight!


	5. Another author note

AN: I apologize this is not an update. THIS STORY IS ON THE LINE AND WILL POSSIBLY BE TAKEN DOWN. It is up to you to either save this story, have me rewrite the story or totally take it down. I will only write based on what you say. Every person counts so tell me what you think. Sorry for never updating and falling off the face of the Earth but I truly lost interest and never had time. YOU DECIDE THE FATE OF THIS STORY SO MAKE A CHOICE WISELY.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Alright so I am going to give this a go again and see if maybe I can turn this into a decent story. Nobody told me they didn't want this story gone but I did get a few reviews saying they wanted me to try and continue this story, so let's see what happens.

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own this story because if I did I wouldn't be writing this on fan fiction. Instead I would actually try to get it published.

Edward's POV (present day)

It's been so long. 90 years since I saw a beautiful face. My one and only love, gone. It was all my fault. Nothing was the same. Never will it be the same. I've tried. Believe me I have tried. Nobody will let me. I apologize Isabella. I failed you. All I ever wanted was for you to be safe. Instead all it got you was dead. My life is worthless. I pity the humans who can take their life easily. It is damn near impossible for a vampire to do this. My family refuses to let me go to the one place that would be willing to kill me. No one in my family will give me the relief by killing me themselves. I believe that I deserve this though. Not being able to kill myself to get that slim chance of being with you, that's worse then going to hell. No, my life is the true definition of hell. I had you in my hands. I let you go. I let an angel go. I will never be forgiven. Therefore I will always be in this hell. No one with me except for myself.

My family is still upset. They try to hide it from me but I keep getting their looks of pity. I don't see my family anymore. I was in Brazil trying to keep you safe from my kind. I failed you again. I didn't get to kill Victoria. But Victoria wasn't the one who ended up killing you. It was me. I always knew I was a monster. You tried to convince me otherwise but I always knew. How can you say I'm not a monster when I really was the one who killed you? I lock myself in my room to try and let myself wallow in my own pity. I keep hoping one day I will wake up from a dream or you will walk in and laugh and say got you. That will never happen though. I wish that you are looking down at me right now cursing my name. I know you are the most forgiving person out there but I don't deserve forgiveness. I deserve this. I should have never left you. I am stupid and I realize that now. It's too late though. I love you Isabella.

I got up and left her grave. Everyday while everyone else was at school I would visit her grave. After I would visit her grave, I would go home and lock myself in my room for the rest of the day till I can come do this again. I barely ever hunted anymore. I felt no need to. Today was a little different though. Today would be the day where I would take my grieving up a notch. I'm going to our meadow.

I had a feeling that this was going to be a huge mistake. This was a risk I was willing to take. I feel like this will be the one and only place I will feel close to her. I take off running. The meadow is not far away and I end up reaching it very quickly. A rush of emotions filled me. I can sense her around me it's like I am seeing her for the first time in a long time. All of the memories flood my mind. The first time we kissed, the first time she saw me in the sun, and the only time her and I truly showed our love for each other. I hadn't even fully stepped into the meadow and all of these feelings and memories were coming back to me. Could I really walk into the meadow? Could I handle more memories? Yes. It's time. I need to face this. Maybe it could even help me grieve.

I took a step closer to the meadow then stopped. I heard laughter from someone. Who can possibly be here? Whoever it was—wait there were two people here. One scent smelt pretty familiar while the other one smelt a little different, but still smelt good. Who are they? Why can't I read either of their minds? The only person that I haven't been able to read was Bella's. I didn't want them to run away and they didn't seem to notice that I was there. Maybe I can get a better look at them. I tried to lean over sneakily but the wind chose that time to blow. They both looked over here. Both were beautiful. Just by looking you could tell that they were vampires. I wonder what their powers were that blocked me. One of the vampires made I contact with me. She was breathtaking. She looked exactly like how Bella would look if she were a vamp…

Wait, "Bella?" I couldn't believe it. My imagination must be running wild. There is no way Bella could be here. I just visited her grave. My mind must be imagining her. Why do I have to be tortured with not only her scent, but the beauty of what she would look like if she would have become one of us. But, wait, that still doesn't explain the other girl.

"Mom, who is that?" The girl next to the Bella clone asked. When did Bella have kids and how could she have done that to me? Wait, why would I care? Bella and I aren't together. I'm the idiot that let her go and she did exactly what I wanted her to do. Move on. Why does that break my heart?

"Ness not now. Why don't you head home; I will catch up with you in a few minutes." Bella said. Maybe I can talk to her and see who managed to claim her heart. I wish I could kill whoever did but again I am the one who let her go.

"Sorry I will be getting out of your way." Wait was she talking to me? Do I look like I want her to go? Just a few minutes ago I truly believed she was dead. I visited her grave. I'm sure that the past 90 years haven't been a dream. What is going on? I need to know if she is really here or not.

"Bella? Is that you?" I knew I still loved her and if she really were here I would love that even more. But, she isn't mine anymore. She has a kid. She fell in love with someone else. I'm just her first love. Maybe that's all we ever were with each other. First loves. If she moved on maybe I should too. No I don't think I ever could. Who is she with now? I have so many questions for her. How do I go about asking her though?

"Excuse me I didn't mean to invade your personal space or area so I will be leaving now." Just like that she left. Just as quick as I got her back she leaves. I had one moment of being full in the past 90 years. I need her back. Where did she go though? I need my family to help find her. I wonder if she is close by. I walked around trying to see if I could pick up her scent. Just like her disappearance, I found it then it was gone. How did that happen?

I ran quickly back to my house. I knew that everyone would be home. I walked into the house to find them all sitting. They all looked terrible. Did I not notice how bad it was for them? Was it just as bad for them as it was for me? No way.

"Edward can you sit down for a second?" Alice must have saw. Did she see something that I wouldn't be able to bear? Did she see that Bella had another mate? I will be crushed. She must have though because that girl with her called her mom. Or are they doing the same thing that we do with Esme? I can't think straight anymore.

"Did you see Bella with another man, Alice? I knew it. I should have never left her. But, she is happy now. That is a good thing, right? Alice tell me now, I can't stand it anymore. Alice?" They were all staring at me with confusion. Alice did see Bella, right?

"Edward what are you talking about? Bella has been dead for 90 years now. Why would I see her? What is going on with you? Are you seeing things now? Carlisle, maybe Edward needs some help." I hadn't imagined the whole thing in the meadow right? What is going on?

"I saw Bella in the meadow today. Someone was with her and called her mom. If you weren't going to talk to me about Bella, then what is it about?"

"Edward maybe going to the meadow triggered something in your mind that made you see something you would want to see, not something that actually happened. Bella has been dead. You visit her grave everyday. You of all people should know that what you are seeing isn't actually real. You are just imaging all of it as an escape." Carlisle said. Why don't they believe that I actually saw her? All of their thoughts are about me going crazy. I know what I saw. There is no way I could have imagined that.

"I know what I saw but that still doesn't answer my question about what you wanted to talk about."

"Edward we gave you 90 years to grieve. This family all needs to move on. It's time you do the same as well. I know how much you love Bella but she is gone. We talked to some people and found someone else who doesn't have a mate either. We think it is best if you just get over Bella and marry this other girl who actually is a vampire. Now we or I really knew you would object so I already arranged the wedding for next week. Edward you are going to marry Tanya. She is perfect for you and likes you a lot surprisingly." Rosalie said and I saw red.

WHAT? MARRY TANYA! HELL NO! "NO!" I roared and lunged at her.

AN: **Well that's the end of that chapter. I hope you all like it and review. Sorry for the semi cliff-hanger but I'm evil. Virtual cookies to anyone who does review. Hopefully all my other stories will be updated/started very soon. Alright until next time. XOXOSOFTBALLTWIHARD28XOXO**


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